Monday Morning Devotion-May 13, 2019
Give Yourself a Break
God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28
Ever heard it said that we are our own worst critics? I'm sure you have. That can be true, even though it doesn't have to be. So, what causes the tendency to be so hard on ourselves? And how can this be defeated?
One of the reasons often we don't give ourselves a break is due to the brain's "negativity bias." Psychology Today magazine says: "Your brain is simply built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news." So, this negativity is there at the earliest stage of information processing. We react more strongly to stimuli we deem to be negative. Consequently, when negative things happen our tendency often is to blame ourselves. This is partly a built-in defense mechanism to keep us out of harm's way.
Two behaviors that can cause you to be too hard on yourself are "Self-blame" & "Self- Criticism." Some of these could have been learned as a child when lots of criticism was heaped on a youngster that eroded self-confidence. Or maybe a string of bad luck or failed attempts to achieve goals could foster a defeatist and self-blaming attitude. This immediately crops up when things start to go wrong. It brings about a "give-up attitude."
Psychology Today recommends certain actions to take that ease the tendency to take the blame for some things that happen.
First you can work on distinguishing this self-blame from taking responsibility, if you stop and analyze the unspoken aspects of the outcome. You'll find there is a big difference between attributing the outcome to certain factors and needing a scapegoat (yourself) to pin it on.
Make a list of the things that you like about yourself. The qualities you admire, the things you are good at, your abilities and spend some time focusing on them. Have them ready as weapons to battle that self-critical voice when it crops up.
Take a look at your whole self. When self-blame and self-criticism crop up they reduce a person to a small number of character flaws. You are not a cardboard cutout. There is far more to you than these negative flaws are trying to reduce you to.
Developing self-compassion is another weapon Psychology Today points out that you have in your arsenal. Unlike self-pity, self-compassion involves being kind and understanding of yourself and not judgmental.
Finally, examine your beliefs about yourself. What do you see? A person whose character and personality are set in stone or those capable of changing where change is needed.
Pastor Joel Osteen (www.joelosteen.com) says: Sometimes we're too hard on ourselves. We focus on the areas where we don't measure up and how we should be further along. But being down on yourself is only going to hold you back. You need to focus on what you're doing right, not everything you're doing wrong. Find the good in every situation.
Osteen adds: "Don't be so hard on yourself. Sure, there may be some things in your life that you aren't happy about, but remember, God isn't finished with you yet."
Sarah Young (Jesus Calling) echoes those sentiments: "Don't be too hard on yourself for God can bring good even out of your mistakes. Your finite mind tends to look backward longing to undo decisions you have come to regret. That is a waste of time and energy.
Look to Him in trust anticipating that His infinite creativity can weave both bad choices and good ones into a beautiful design."
See yourself as the beautiful person God sees you as even in hard times.
You deserve a break today and we are not talking about an advertising slogan that has been around since 1971. The break you will receive when you trust in the Lord has been around a lot longer than that.
Prayer: Lord help us to see ourselves as you see us so that we can be the kind and loving people you planned for us to be. Amen!